The Farewell Email From The Female.

Its a bold claim, but I think the Deuces Remix courtesy of Chris Brown and Co might be up there with the best songs of the year. If only it didn’t have anything to do with Chris Brown. I cannot judge him on a personal level because I have never met the man (even though I’ve been hanging round with the cream of the hip hop world lately) but we all saw that image of Rihanna where all the women of the world went “Aww poor RiRi, I wish I could be there for her” and all the men went “If I was going out with Rihanna I wouldn’t treat her like that. I’d wine and dine her. Treat her like a princess. Spend all my hard earned money on making my time with her the most amazing experience of her whole life. I’d make her breakfast in bed and leave roses on the bedsheets and a little mint on the pillow for her.” Well that’s what I said anyway.

The fact that the music industry seems to have welcomed him back with open arms is bad enough but it’s the arrogance and lack of remorse in the lyrics in his verse in deuces which curdles me. God I hate that man/boy. But aside from the fact it is his song, it’s just fucking amazing. Everyone destroys it on their verse and you have different amount of hate going from Drake staying with his girl because the sex is so brilliant to Kanye telling it straight with seemingly no restraint until we get told the only restraint is that he hasn’t actually named the girl.

I think Kanye’s verse needs to be quoted.

You know what, yo?
you a bitch
you should have a travel agent cuz you a trip
you should make your own toilet tissue since you the shit
but all you got is some fucking issues you fucking bitch

I wish I had an output for relationship troubles like these guys do. I might not have carved a heart into my side. Is that mental? Probably. I’m fine now. And actually very happy. Loads of girls wear leggings and crop tops in Brighton. As good as Kanye’s verse is, it is topped by Andre 3000. It’s dignified and more hard hitting than Kanye’s in the way that your parents calmly saying they’re ‘disappointed’ with you is worse than them screaming at you.

Anyway. Listen below if you’ve been under a rock and haven’t heard it. It will make hating girls that little bit more fun for y’all.

UPDATE. The only one I could get on Soundcloud doesn’t have Chris Brown’s verse which is a blessing, but the first paragraph was the funniest thing in this post by quite a way so I’m leaving it.

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