Complete Me$$.

DISCLAIMER. This is not me. I am not nearly this good looking or have nearly this much hair.

Cole Mohr got a neck tattoo. Is this the moment where neck tattoos that aren’t roses blah blah blah but just script, get claimed as a credible tattoos and not just for people clad in tracksuits who have to make sure they only date people called Shaznay because it ain’t rubbin’ off their skin? I have two tattoos that are script. One says ‘Strength’ above my left peck. Self explanatory and a bit boring, but what the hell, the guy from MGMT dated Kirsten Dunst and Jonny Knoxville is a pop culture icon.

The second I completely despise, coincidentally a lot like MGMT’s second album. Not only because Frankmusik stole his idea from me and rendered me a twat, but because I made the stupid mistake of getting something that’s on me forever that is about someone. They’ll rip your heart out and you’ll want to rip your skin off. You know when you get a tattoo and they say it’s going to fade if you don’t wear sunblock in the blistering heat? All fucking lies. After this I then turned to ‘Lazercream’ which I paid £50 (half price mind) for. Been using it for two months and it’s done fuck all. I can’t afford lazer treatment and have developed a habit of standing certain way when talking to people.

I feel like a man on a speed date whose forgotten to take his wedding ring off. And no, I’m not telling you what it says, I reckon if you’re canny enough you can work it out. This is a simple warning that, no matter how happy you are, if you’re under 25 and not Danny Dyer (still with his childhood sweetheart ‘parrently) you will regret getting anything that you can’t lie about it’s meaning. But you knew that and I didn’t.

In the twist of this post (DUN DUN DUHH) as much as it was stupid to get it, the below quote is beautiful and sums up what love should be, even if I did read it after becoming single. (Featured in the ‘Suit Issue’ of Esquire last September)


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